Men and women shouldn’t sleep in the same bed

As they exist today, men and women are not designed to sleep in the same bed. For the sake of Internet attention spans, I’ve restricted my argument to snoring, hot vs cold, and sex.

Snoring

BBC News reported that 59% of people say their partner snores. Admittedly it’s mostly men doing the heavy breathing, but not exclusively.

chainsaw

That’s nearly 6 out of 10 people who have to put up with a monotonous drone less than a metre from their face while they’re trying to sleep.

He’s always hot, she’s always cold

I don’t know how it happened, but men and women have evolved with completely different internal thermostats.

Men, possibly because we’re often out hunting in extreme weather, don’t feel cold and tend to overheat quicker than a 1982 Alpha Romeo. Women, on the other hand, are always cold.

The result is women insist on harvesting male body heat by snuggling, as well as an extra blanket, when all men want to do is cast the covers aside and open a window.

my bed space

Sex

In the UK, 84% of all sex happens in a bed. And 83% of that happens at night.1 Silly me, thinking beds and nights were for sleeping.

But it’s not only that the act of sex is encroaching on sleep’s time and territory, it’s the side and after effects that add to the concern.

Consider the chemistry: “During ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including oxytocin … and the hormone prolactin.”2

  • oxytocin promotes sleep
  • prolactin promotes sleep

According to science, men are made to fall asleep after sex. According to everything else, all women want to do after sex is talk. And they don’t like when we’re asleep while they do.

Conclusion

Men and women shouldn’t sleep in the same bed, not if the primary goal is a good night’s rest. But they will. Because of love and other illogical shit just like it. And sex.

1 I made these stats up
2 scienceline.org

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