The Alternative Super Rugby Review | Week 12

This is not the place to find who won, who scored, or who played well. This is what I thought of what I saw, mostly useless information, and why the refs and commentators were shit.

Blues v Stormers

Bryan Habana has no rugby skill. He can run fast in a straight line and is desperate to contribute – terrific attributes to have – but he can’t pass, can’t kick and can’t make good decisions. It’s as impressive as it is surprising that he has achieved what he has in rugby.

Dewald Duvenage just loves passing to Steven Kitshoff. The loosehead prop was first-receiver (and I mean long pass, not pop-up) seven times in the first half an hour. Call me old fashioned, but scrumhalf should pass to flyhalf.


In fact, Duvenage managed to make 37 bad decisions in a row in the first half, which is a new South African record.

Surprise fact: The Stormers are involved in a local charity in Cape Town teaching young kids a new word every week. This week the word was: INEPT

Elton Jantjies has had a difficult time in Cape Town. He’s struggled with injury and been badly out of form. But he’s not helping his popularity with that haircut.


Highlanders v Sharks

Between them, Brad Thorn and Andrew Hore have more grit than 40 cowboys.

Afrikaans men all look the same to New Zealand commentators. Even after five replays they were still calling Meyer Bosman “Viljoen”.


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