Gentlemen’s Bathroom Etiquette #5

There’s a right way and a wrong way to pick a urinal. Don’t do the wrong way.

Picking the right urinal

Given a row of five free urinals, you may choose either the far left or the far right only.

urinal1

No, the middle urinal is not a valid selection. I know it still leaves two options (far left and far right) with the minimum required one-urinal gap, but choosing one of the ticks above gives the next man the option to pee three free urinals away from you.

urinal2

This should be obvious. There’s no reason to get any closer, and it lets the next arriving man choose the middle urinal without breaking the one-urinal gap rule.

urinal3

The middle urinal is the only remaining option. I don’t care if there’s a dead rat or a bloody human hand in there, you do not unzip alongside another man and that’s the end of that.

urinal4

No. Just no. You have options, but peeing in one of those urinals is not among them.

  • You can take a cubicle, obviously
  • You can wash your hands or inspect yourself in the mirror to buy some time
  • You can just walk out and come back later

But I don’t care if you’re about to burst your bladder, you pee in the sink before you rub shoulders with a man who’s holding his pen1s in his hand.

It’s an evolutionary embarrassment that some men are still being born without this hard-coded into their DNA. Choose wisely, choose well, and everybody pee in peace.

More Gentlemen’s Bathroom Etiquette

Four | Three | Two | One

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